The Social Mirror

In "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" Stephen Covey describes a concept he refers to as "The Social Mirror". This is our reflection on the face of society. It involves how we are perceived by other people. The way they define us, our actions, our goals, etc.

I believe it's good to be aware of what people think of you. Obviously their feedback can be a very useful thing at times in terms of personal and professional growth. However, you cannot allow who you are to be determined by these people. The book says "If the only vision we have of ourselves comes from the social mirror–from the current social paradigm and from the opinions, perceptions, and paradigms of the people around us–our view of ourselves is like the reflection in the crazy mirror at the carnival."

Covey suggests that instead of allowing ourselves to be defined by this ever changing, distorted mirror, we should seek to define ourselves by our principles. Our principles do not vary. They are a constant. Therefore, if we define ourselves by our principles and we hold fast to them, then we are without a doubt successful.

This applies to being a conductor in that, you cannot allow the flawed views of your peers, choir or orchestra members, or anyone to define you. If you draw a hard line then you more oft than not be perceived as "mean". The same goes for any other decisions you might make as a conductor. People will always have their view of how life works, which normally has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and their own problems. So as conductors, we should define ourselves by our principles. Through this method we can become successful as professionals and successful at making beautiful music.